Incredible as the first Star Wars motion pictures may be, they’re not immaculate. Honestly, with Star Wars: Episodes IV through VI, there’s a decent amount of whitewashing at play. Yes, there are flaws with it. Furthermore, to highlight flaws isn’t to ridicule the trilogy; it simply serves to affirm that these are just films, and like all films, they’re all the more fascinating due to their shortcomings. Here are 10 issues with the Star Wars movies.
10. The Dialogue Is Awful
Fanatics of Star Wars happen to abhor the prequels. However, they adore the firsts tend to take a kind of bent joy in citing the dreadful exchange inborn to Episodes I through III, as a short-hand method for saying “the prequels suck – a lot.” The exemplary “terrible” quotes, which are extremely ghastly, include: “I don’t like sand,” “You’re breaking my heart,” and “I wish that I could just… wish away my feelings!” Truly, there are many cheesy lines dumped all through the first trilogy. Could you truly forget “I was going into Tosche Station to pick some power converters?”
9. Luke Skywalker Is A Cringeworthy Protagonist
When you really take the time out to consider it legitimately, it turns out to be shockingly clear that Luke Skywalker is really a truly abnormal character. You’d expect the lead hero in a motion picture like Star Wars to possess a couple cool qualities, but then he has nothing. It is difficult for fans to concede that the most well-known person in the whole Star Wars group is somewhat of a dork. Luke is noisy, pompous, uninteresting, and humorless and is even somewhat of a grouch. In Return of the Jedi, for instance, he appears to be faltering and uncomfortable in his own particular skin.
Oh Brian. This post should be more accurately titled “10 Issues I, Brian, Ignoramus Extraordinaire, Have Against the Original Star Wars Trilogy.”
Here are 10 issues I have with your post:
1. Introduction: reference to “whitewashing.” Before you use the word, you should know what it means. The definition of whitewashing is “the casting practice in the film industry in the United States in which white actors are cast in historically nonwhite character roles.” Star Wars was an original concept, and therefore, the characters are original. “Racist casting methods” would be a more appropriate term, and it is a problem that has plagued all of Hollywood for decades. The prequels have barely more ethnic diversity than the original trilogy if you actually look at the casting, and the Force Awakens isn’t a whole lot better. Luckily, the to-be-released Rogue One looks to up the ante of diversity.
2. Your Dialogue Is Awful. Seriously, if you are going to write a post, please have someone who is somewhat literate read it over for you. Bonus: there are many reasons why many fans disliked the prequels, such as Hayden Christiansen’s complete lack of acting ability or creative errors named Jar Jar Binks. The awful dialogue is merely the flea on the bantha’s back, so to speak. And no one is going to forget the actually much-quoted “But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!” line because in it, Mark Hamill actually did a great job of conveying total teenage angst in one sentence, unlike afore-mentioned prequel actor.
3. If the first bullet point wasn’t a giveaway that you, Brian, are not particularly knowledgeable about Star Wars, this one certainly confirmed it. While the whole of the Star Wars films were nominated for 27 Academy Awards, the original Trilogy was the set that actually took home the actual seven Oscar wins. Mark Hamill was himself nominated for one and won two Saturn awards for his role as Luke Skywalker in the first three episodes. Bonus Number Two: If I had just found out the second-most hated man in the galaxy, responsible for the deaths of billions of beings and Force-powered fear intimidation of the rest was my father and was now coming after me to either recruit me or kill me, I would be a bit “grouchy” and “humorless” too. Throw in the whole he-was-never-a-simple-farm-boy-but-actually-the-last-of-the-Jedi-and-now-responsible-for-their-entire-heritage-without-f**cking-it-up aspect and no wonder he doesn’t appear to feel comfortable in his own skin.
4. Boba Fett didn’t die in the Sarlacc, as any real fan would know. Duh. And the dialogue between Fett and Vader? So bad ass.
5. The special effects used in the original trilogy were absolutely outstanding for the ‘70s and ‘80s. I think it is safe to say technology had come quite a ways when the first prequel movie was made over twenty years later. The actors in the original trilogy had to learn real sword fighting technique and perform using wooden sticks that were later digitally replaced. The prequels used a huge amount of CGI, which though it enabled somewhat escalated fights, looks about as real as a video game. Check out this video of actors “fighting” in front of a green screen while filming the Episode II Geonosis execution arena scene if you still have doubts. As you said, “naff.”
6. I almost agree with your point here (go ladies!). However, I feel there are a few discrepancies: a) There’s Princess Leia. Then there’s Mon Mothma, who actually runs the entire Rebellion. Two formidable women in the original trilogy who kicked ass and took names. B) There are also several scenes with female characters in supporting roles within and without the Rebellion. And if we’re being “honest”, Princess Leia > Padme Amidala. P.S.: the Expanded Universe started rectifying the gender discrepancy years before The Force Awakens. See awesome female badass characters Mara Jade (my personal favorite), Jaina Solo, Asajj Ventress, Tionne, etc.
7. There’s a number of theories on this “timeline discrepancy.” Remember Han getting mad at Chewie for taking apart the Falcon when the Empire was attacking their secret base on Hoth, and they had to scramble to get it back together in time to lift off? Seems logical based upon the already-obvious dilapidated condition of the Falcon that they were only able to get the backup hyperdrive working and had to fly at least part of the way to Bespin on sublight drives. This would enable Luke to have more time on Dagobah training (which was still cut short to rescue his friends), and also guarantee the Imperials would arrive at Cloud City first. Regardless, as one fan has said, “…Lucas was making a space opera, NOT hard sci-fi.”
8. Questionable, maybe. Did it work for George Lucas to throw that little sidewinder our way? $1.1 billion says it did. As far as your stipulations to the realism of it: Obi Wan did indeed explain that he did not lie, but that Anakin Skywalker as he knew him had been killed or consumed by Darth Vader, and seeing as Darth Vader had no qualms about killing millions of other people including young Jedi trainees, I think we can safely say he (at first) had no compunction to murdering his son who was actively fighting against him.
9. The Empire Strikes Back was purposely left without a solid conclusion, because it was at that point that Lucas had decided to make a trilogy. And as awesome as Joss Whedon is, didn’t he just do the same thing with the Avengers franchise? Yes, yes he did. Talk about the sky calling the milk blue.
10. How did you know I watched Return of the Jedi the first time with rose-colored glasses, years ago?? UNCANNY. However, in the probably hundred or so times I have watched it since (and I highly doubt I am remotely as devoted as some fans), it is still awesome. Epic fight scene on sail barges? Check. Female heroine strangles slimeball who enslaved her? Get it girl! Epic lightsaber, speederbike, gun, and slingshot / rock fights with good overcoming evil and that hideous Emperor finally getting what he deserves? YES! Plus, Han and Leia live happily ever after. Not too shabby to me.
11. Han Solo has a heart. It’s under a lot of roughness, but it’s there. It’s the basis of his relationship with Chewbacca, it’s caused him a ton of trouble as a smuggler, and the beautiful Princess Leia manages to snag it. But as they are falling in love in the middle of the most epic and destructive battle in the galaxy, it’s no surprise it is a little complicated. Every fan girl I know would LOVE for Han Solo to get all jealous over her. The flaws of their relationship make it more realistic.
May the Force be with you, Brian.